From the Schomburg archives, I was able to find a letter addressed to Alexis De Veaux from Ellen Jaffe. And in that letter, there were two photos of De Veaux and two other women in front of the home of Harriet Tubman\u2019s home. The letter is very beautiful\u00a0and there is sense of familiarity as well as formality as to jaffe addresses De Veaux. The heading of the letter has tells DeVeauz the constitution of the letter and a poem at end. The letter speaks of Jaffe\u2019s encounter with the waitress who was a bit discouraged about her writing. As well as a \u201cpantoum\u201d The verses are potent and \u00a0are reflective of the process of \u00a0self care, self-acceptance and growth.<\/p>\n
\u201cI refuse hearts all the time<\/p>\n
though they offer me the best<\/p>\n
I have to reject them,<\/p>\n
Live instead with my own heart<\/p>\n
Though they offer me the best<\/p>\n
Nothing is good enough,<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll live with my own heart<\/p>\n
Though it melts like ice in spring<\/p>\n
Nothing is good enough<\/p>\n
To let some stranger into my body<\/p>\n
Though it melts like ice in spring<\/p>\n
Before I am ready<\/p>\n
Let some stranger into my body<\/p>\n
Like a cougar coming at night<\/p>\n
Before I am ready\u2014<\/p>\n
His spring would kill me<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Like a Cougar coming at night or a trickster, coypte,<\/p>\n
his spring could kill me<\/p>\n
like a deer unaware<\/p>\n
Trickster, coyote<\/p>\n
Steals hearts when he can<\/p>\n
Like a dear unaware<\/p>\n
I could fall through a crack<\/p>\n
Stealing hearts, losing heart<\/p>\n
I could fall through the cracks<\/p>\n
I refuse hearts all the time<\/p>\n
To live inside my own skin<\/p>\n
Live inside my own skin<\/p>\n
But fall through the cracks<\/p>\n
Melt into spring<\/p>\n
Find a heart I can\u2019t refuse \u201c<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Ellen Jaffe<\/p>\n
July 19\/97 (fw3)<\/p>\n
I was drawn to this because it is letter and I engage best when the work or art is sentimental. I do recognize that there are various forms of sentimental engagement but I am committed to the sentimental works that are of\/by black queer feminism in it content and its actualization.<\/p>\n
This pantaum is reflective of self care and self-love and narcissism which was discussed in the conversation between Professor Glover, Nadia and I. We spoke of the role narcism serve in self care and preservation and its health. An example discussed is the ways in which women of color to say \u201cno\u201d in an effort to self-preserve their most intimate and vulnerable self . Say \u201cno\u201d to familial expectations despite the shame and the blame they may endure. I was able to rethink and reimage ways black girls can and should say no on the journey and their right to self love.<\/p>\n
Also, a recent video\/poem circling on social on black girlhood and resilience by Poet Mahogany L. Browne<\/p>\n