![\"\"](\"http:\/\/bcrw.barnard.edu\/digitalshange\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/mentalhealthletter.jpg\")
<\/a>Scan 1: letter after <\/em>stay in mental hospital.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n
My favorite finds in the archives that have been related to my project have taken me in directions that I was not initially planning on exploring. Although I recognize that the undercurrent of my projects on forms of care and spirituality will tie in themes of familial relationships and motherhood specifically, I think Zake\u2019s letters pushed me to explore this facet more. In one folder alone, I was able to find three separate letters from Ntozake to her mother that gave a really crucial insight to the way their relationship has grown and changed over time. In the same way, letters that her daughter has written to her grandmother and the way Zake engages her daughter in her letter illuminates that relationship, which shows the lineage and texture of these relationships in the way Ntozake does through her characters. In the first letter I read, which was the one that really drew me to my topic to begin with, was this really magnetic letter she wrote to her parents in October of \u201986, discussing some time she spent in a mental hospital (or, the \u201ccrazy house\u201d as she calls it) and reassuring her parents of her renewed stability. Here, the letter feels a bit distant as it\u2019s s quite short, which felt to me like the equivalent of a phone call with your parents at home where you try to decide how much to tell them, how much you can let them into your life without worrying them or yourself. Her sense of humor about the whole situation is both introspective and eloquent, as she jokes with her parents \u201cyou see, wonders never cease\u2014you get better & stay crazy\u2026\u201d. Almost five years later, you see that this distance has created tension, as she writes a letter to her mother about a time that Zake had stayed with her for a few days and evidently was causing some drama. She writes to apologize (again) for her behavior, which shows equally the strain on the relationship and the investment she has in making it work anyways. Even further down the line, Zake sends a letter to her mother begging her not to reveal Savannah\u2019s true father to her when they visit, showing that she has allowed her mother in her life in some capacity and is trusting her with very sensitive information. A few years after that, there were some documents that suggested that her mother Eloise was trying to help support her financially after she seemed to have filed for bankruptcy and written some checks with insufficient funds. The documents were addressed to her mother and not Zake though they were about Zake\u2019s finances, which suggested to me that her mother just decided to take over or Zake asked for her help. Perhaps this is a sign of progress, or just tracing the ups and downs of that relationship and Zake\u2019s struggles in general, but the pieces that I got helped me to thread a timeline of their relationship a bit better. Savannah\u2019s correspondence with her grandmother shows another relationship entirely, one simply of love in her youth, and her handwriting and style reminded me a bit of Zake. This female lineage traced through correspondence shows the ways that motherhood changes and adapts with both mother and child, and the way that both learn to show love in the ways they know how. It also emphasized this ancestral sisterhood, this hope to never forget that there were so many women who came before.<\/p>\n
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