Archival Task, Letter Addressed to Alexis De Veaux
From the Schomburg archives, I was able to find a letter addressed to Alexis De Veaux from Ellen Jaffe. And in that letter, there were two photos of De Veaux and two other women in front of the home of Harriet Tubman’s home. The letter is very beautiful and there is sense of familiarity as well as formality as to jaffe addresses De Veaux. The heading of the letter has tells DeVeauz the constitution of the letter and a poem at end. The letter speaks of Jaffe’s encounter with the waitress who was a bit discouraged about her writing. As well as a “pantoum” The verses are potent and are reflective of the process of self care, self-acceptance and growth.
“I refuse hearts all the time
though they offer me the best
I have to reject them,
Live instead with my own heart
Though they offer me the best
Nothing is good enough,
I’ll live with my own heart
Though it melts like ice in spring
Nothing is good enough
To let some stranger into my body
Though it melts like ice in spring
Before I am ready
Let some stranger into my body
Like a cougar coming at night
Before I am ready—
His spring would kill me
Like a Cougar coming at night or a trickster, coypte,
his spring could kill me
like a deer unaware
Trickster, coyote
Steals hearts when he can
Like a dear unaware
I could fall through a crack
Stealing hearts, losing heart
I could fall through the cracks
I refuse hearts all the time
To live inside my own skin
Live inside my own skin
But fall through the cracks
Melt into spring
Find a heart I can’t refuse “
Ellen Jaffe
July 19/97 (fw3)
I was drawn to this because it is letter and I engage best when the work or art is sentimental. I do recognize that there are various forms of sentimental engagement but I am committed to the sentimental works that are of/by black queer feminism in it content and its actualization.
This pantaum is reflective of self care and self-love and narcissism which was discussed in the conversation between Professor Glover, Nadia and I. We spoke of the role narcism serve in self care and preservation and its health. An example discussed is the ways in which women of color to say “no” in an effort to self-preserve their most intimate and vulnerable self . Say “no” to familial expectations despite the shame and the blame they may endure. I was able to rethink and reimage ways black girls can and should say no on the journey and their right to self love.
Also, a recent video/poem circling on social on black girlhood and resilience by Poet Mahogany L. Browne
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