The Dilemma of Decolonization

Passion and rage, nurtured

Discovering beyond

The present, the self-hatred, abdication and denial

An era capable of redemption

Discovering beyond the present because

There is little to marvel at

Little to fall in love with/ to come to terms with

Delving deeper instead

Discovering instead a past of glory

The above poem is my attempt at rewording and rereading Fanon in a Shange-like manner. The excerpt I chose to poeticize was from the chapter “On National Culture” in which Fanon dissects the process of conjuring from an idealized past a “national culture” that the colonized intellectual is tasked with. He describes the resentment towards the colonizer and their hegemonic control over every aspect of the colonized’s life. Consequentially, the colonized intellectual must struggle internally with everything they have been indoctrinated with about their history. The colonized intellectual is consumed by trying to prove to the colonizer but especially themself that they aren’t inferior, uncivilized, less than. So they turn to the past, trying to dig up proof of their humanity. They however only end up idealizing and overcompensating their past. It’s this desperate and incessant need to define the self outside of the box that the colonizer has so meticulously built. Shange asks us in Lost in Language and Sound “where are we to go?” if we rid ourselves of the white man. “Having delivered ourselves no way of naming the universe outside of the English language, where are we to go?” It’s the same dilemma of decolonization that Fanon expresses; the conscious colonized person struggles to conceptualize the black self outside of the oppression that has so greatly defined it.

Fanon’s passage immediately brought to mind a quote from Toni Morrison that resonates with me on a daily basis as I navigate white spaces as a black woman. Originally spoken in 1975 at a public lecture at Portland State University, Morrison sums up the toll racism plays on black people: it distracts us.

“The function, the very serious function of racism, which is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and so you spend 20 years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says that you have no art so you dredge that up. Somebody says that you have no kingdoms and so you dredge that up. None of that is necessary. There will always be one more thing.”

All colonized people, whether or not they qualify as intellectuals, are faced with this existential plight of overcompensating to gain basic humanity. Being a student in a PWI and specifically an Ivy League university, it is very common for students of color to defend their communities and cultures from ignorant white students. They feel frustrated yet dignified in explaining how problematic a student or professor or text or policy is and they work themselves up about others’ ignorance. I made a personal vow some time ago to not waste any breath, sweat, or tears over proving my humanity to others. I refuse to be distracted by racism.