Lady in Orange on Healing

by Katie Lee 1 Comment

One of the parts of for colored girls who have considered suicide/ when the rainbow is enuf that struck me most was the Lady in Orange’s poem describing her relationship with a man who continually cheats on her with his ex-lover. She vividly describes her pain, stating “you put my heart in the bottom of/ yr shoe”, describing the way this man has abused and disrespected her and their relationship. Shange complicates the narrative of the “woman scorned” in showing that Lady in Orange vacillates between caring for herself and describing her pain. On one hand, she is able to find her own joy in dancing, for example. She states that she does not “leave bitterness in somebody else’s cup”, including the “other woman” and eventually states that she has left “sorrow on the curb” for herself. Yet, at the same time, she seems to redirect the injury the “woman scorned” supposedly takes out on others onto herself, stating “I have died in a real way”, and is not satisfied by her new lover. Shange beautifully shows that healing is not a unidirectional process in any way. Healing requires an examination and acceptance of pain in addition to the strength to look past it, and the joy and sorrow of moving on are wrapped up in each other.

I truly have not seen a work that captures the many dimensions of healing as well as Shange, but I was reminded of Beyoncé’s “Pray You Catch Me”. In this song, Beyoncé focuses more on her attachment to her lover than in Shange’s work. However, the song does capture how her pain is rooted in a deep love, which continues her hope that he can and will return her prayers. This mirrors Shange’s description of the willingness to hold on to love and joy through suffering.

 

Comment ( 1 )

  1. Asha Futterman
    Lady in Orange's line that you mentioned about not wanting to "leave bitterness in somebody else’s cup" stuck out to me. When people experience trauma, they often use their close friends to heal, and there is a certain societal and ethical pressure on the friends to help the person who was harmed unconditionally. But, a lot of times, the person who experienced trauma didn't ask if their friends if were okay with taking all of their trauma. Oft times, there is no previous conversation even between friends about what type of trauma and violence they're equipped to deal help out with if something bad happens. So, a lot of friends are left with bitterness in their cups, which could take the form of secondary trauma. I think it is important, like you said, to have more than one way of healing. Maybe Lady in Orange sometimes used her friends to help her heal, but sometimes she used dancing. Also, like you said, one way of healing has many dimensions, so one form of healing (writing, dancing, or talking) can't solve everything.

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