Retracing Roots

Ntozake shared the stories of the women in her life that taught her what it means to be a strong, independent woman. Coming away from her talk, I felt a renewed sense of appreciate for the women in my life. I went home from that talk realizing two powerful forces that have affected me—my mother and my education. But what struck me most from Ntozake’s talk was the need to reflect on the village that works together to bring each of those forces to fruition.

My mother is one of the strongest women I know. At age 16 she made a personal decision that I could not even imagine making as a full grown, adult woman. At age 25 she left the only country she’d ever known to come to America to build an entirely new life for herself. She raised my brother and I to be humble and appreciative for everything we have, because she gave up everything to give it to us. And now, past the age of fifty, my mother has become the most solid force in my life. It is thanks to her that I found the strength to make some of the most challenging decisions and get through the most difficult of times. It is thanks to her that I know what a strong woman looks like—someone who isn’t afraid to step outside the lines and create her own path.

My education is very much the same way. After hearing Ntozake talk, I felt incredibly lucky to be apart of a community of women that has such a strong sense of legacy. From her mention of the panty raids, to the contemporary activism I see on campus today, I realize how proud I am to call Barnard College my home. Through this institution, I have discovered myself. I have learned how to be like the woman who raised me. I have learned that there is nothing more powerful than a woman with a mission on her mind—because I see that around me every day.

Ntozake’s advice was to reach out to the communities that have helped shape us, and use the gift of this education we receive to affect change. In the days since Ntozake’s talk, I’ve been making a daily conscious effort to do this. I share articles, stories, and lessons I’ve learned in classes with my mother. I ask her to share these with her network of women who have supported her. I have begun to write a letter to my mother’s mother, something I never imagined I’d be able to do because my tongue speaks a different language than hers does. Using mangled hiragana letters, dictionaries, and elementary-grade vocabulary, I’ve managed to piece together a paragraph written in my own words. For the first time in my life, I’m taking the steps to communicate with a role-model in my life who, up until now, I’ve only been able to speak with through other people. I’m learning the power of my own voice, through inspiration from Ntozake. In thinking of a final project, I’d like to incorporate my heritage as a first-generation American on my mom’s side and my bi-racial identity into whatever I choose to produce as my culminating assignment for this course.