A Friend is Hard to Press Charges Against

What I found most interesting about Shange’s introduction for the second edition of For Colored Girls, along with her insights about what has changed since its first publication, is the way that the public received her attitude towards men. Unfortunately, all too often, pieces of academic work, theory, even spaces that are women-centered are seen less as works toward revolutionary change, brave spaces, or amplifying voices that aren’t heard, and instead, the automatic assumption is misandry at its core. I agree with what she said; often the males portrayed in her book are healthy portrayals of black men. However, it is endlessly frustrating that when women detail in any way the ways they have to suffer, are pushed into discomfort and are silenced, it becomes a personal problem for each man, rather than pointing to a larger systematic problem that places multiple oppressions on women of color, even more so than black men. There is one particular part of the poem that really hit a nerve this week with the events of the past week. In this part, Shange details one of the main fears that many sexual harassment and assault victims face of being written off and remaining unheard, particularly if you have any interaction with the male. In fact, according to the CDC, an devastating 54% of rape cases go unreported because of this likely compounding on other event-related traumas. Even worse, in some states, there has to be evidence of kicking, biting, or scratching to show that you have resisted. Its the same feeling that Shange discusses because, though men are clearly unwilling to take responsibility for the ills of their ilk, they need to understand the ways these violences against women play out. It almost hurt to read the poem, because some of this rhetoric was the kind that played out during the Kavanaugh trial. “A rapist is always a stranger /to be legitimate /someone you never saw / a man wit obvious problems”. Kavanaugh presented, to the population that wanted to see this in him, as a man with no problems, as he was well educated and up for such a high-power job. Because Blasey-Ford had been at a party with Kavanaugh, likely knew him, the undertones of the questions directed at her were synthesized into Shange’s words when she said “a misunderstanding /you know /these things happen/are you sure / you didn’t suggest / had you been drinking”. It hurts to hear these words from the late 70s still being used as grounds for dismissing a woman, even a white woman, even a well-educated and very composed woman, a woman in our eyes that had every quality that would set her up for credibility rather than dismissal. This topic is heavy on our hearts right now, as evidenced by the demonstration on alma mater after the senate hearing.