the journey of self love, tenderness, and fulfillment

In December of 2017, I, a 17-year-old first-year in college went to a SZA concert. Of course, I hada list of my favorite songs from ctrl. Not on that list was “Garden (Say it Like Dat)”, because I perceived the song to be about a lover fulfilling a woman and assuring her. However, during the concert, SZA explained the true importance of the song, as she revealed that the song was an ode to herself. She wrote the song to confirm herself, assure herself, and most importantly love herself.  In reading “nappy edges” I immediately thought of this song as I found similar themes throughout “nappy edges” when Shange described the relationship that the women in these poems developed within themselves.

Throughout “nappy edges” Shange notes the importance of the self in finding happiness, love, and appreciation. She specifically outlines this at the end of “resurrection of the daughter”, where Shange wrote

” she wd find someone who cd survive tenderness

she wd feed someone who waz in need of her fruits “

Later, Shange then wrote,

” & she waz last seen in the arms of herself

blushing

having come to herself ”

These quotes showcase the ways in which the woman in the poem was able to feed herself with love, provide herself with tenderness, and love herself, which ultimately led to her own identity and her own livelihood. This subject was able to support herself and found that she, herself, was “in need of her fruit” and “could survive tenderness”. Thus, she was able to fully appreciate what she could offer as support and was able to utilize those strengths for herself.

Self-love and appreciation are integral to finding one’s own identity and being comfortable in oneself, which is something highlighted by both Shange within “nappy edges” and by SZA in “Garden (Say It Like Dat).