Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff

by Nadia 16 Comments
From For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf
Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff
And didn’t care enough to send a note home saying I was late for my solo conversation
Or too sizes too small for my own tacky skirts
What can anybody do with something of a nobellier on an open market?
Did you get a dime for my things?
Hey man, where are you going with all of my stuff?
This is a woman’s tripping, I need my stuff to ooh and aaah about
Honest to God! Somebody almost ran with all of my stuff
And I didn’t bring anything but the kick and sway of it
The perfect ass for my man and none of it is theirs
This is mine…Phemelo’s own things…
That’s my name now give me my stuff
I see you hiding my laugh and how
I sit with my leg open sometimes to get my crotch some sunlight
This is some delicate leg and whimsical kiss
I gotta have to get to my choice
So you can’t have me unless I give me away
And I was doing all that till you ran off on a good thing
And who is this you left me with? A bad attitude
I want my things, I want my Oooh with a hot iron scar,
I want my leg with the flee bite, yeah I want my things
I want my calouse feet and quick language back in my mouth
I want my own things how I love them
Somebody almost ran off with all of my stuff
And I was standing there looking at myself the whole time
It wasn’t spirit that ran off with my stuff
It was a man who’s ego won’t drown like road ants shadow
It was a man faster than my innocence
It was a lover I made too much room for almost ran off with all of my stuff
And the one running with it, don’t know he got it
I’m shouting this is mine and he don’t , and he don’t even know he got it
My stuff is the anonymous ripped off treasure of the year
Did you know somebody almost got away with me!
Me! in a plastic bag under his arm, Me! Phemelo Motona!
Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff!

The following Tweet inspired me to reflect on this Shange piece:
Screen Shot 2016-01-30 at 8.35.20 PM

Since my project is titled “Mental Wellness:  A Community’s Guidebook,” I was interested to the mental and emotional component that was drawn out in this Tweet and wanted to explore it a little further.
In thinking about how this piece relates to my project and me personally, I needed define what the Lady in Green meant by “all of [her] stuff.” She references that she wants her “Oooh with a hot iron scar,” her “leg with the flee bite,” and her “calouse feet and quick language back in [her] mouth.” The stuff seems to signify her mental and emotional baggage; the baggage manifests itself with physical markers on the body and indicate the things she has experienced. The line, “Did you get a dime for my things?” resonated with me because it made me question the worth of my “stuff,” my own personal baggage as a black woman and who decides the value my stuff holds. The lines, “I gotta have to get to my choice/ So you can’t have me unless I give me away” also made me wonder about the agency I have in what I chose to disclose to others about my personal baggage.
Because the Lady in Green has her stuff taken away against her will she is left with “a bad attitude.” In thinking this piece and mental wellness, I looked up “attitude” in the The Webster Dictionary  and found the definition “a mental position with regard to a fact or state.”Since identifying language black female artists use to talk about self-knowledge and mental health is one of the goals of my project,  I thought I made headway by identifying the particular diction Shange employed in this piece to talk about a mental state.
There is still so much I can unpack in this piece, for instance:
– Who is the thing/person/institution/system running away with the stuff (“it wast spirit… it was a man… it was a lover”),
– Whether that thing/person/institution/system is aware they have the stuff (“don’t know he got it”),
– If the stuff gets depersonalized by the taker (“my stuff is the anonymous ripped off treasure of the year”),
– And finally, if the stuff defines the self (“did you know somebody almost got away with me!/ me!/ in a plastic bag under his arm, me!”)
These are all things I will be coming back to in thinking about my project.

Comments ( 16 )

  1. Melissa
    Thank you for this wonderful insight Nadia. I think it is important and revelatory to consider the implied figures and actions in this quote, which encapsulates so much about subjectivity and reclamation. The speaker is making a declarative assertion of her rightful claim to her "stuff"; the tone suggests disbelief at the attempt of the "somebody" who thought he could get away with her "stuff". I have gendered the two subjects and denoted them with markers of femininity and masculinity, a reflex that arises from my personal contemplation of and experiences with being wronged or slighted by the claims that have been laid to what is "mine". This quote opens so many possibilities for exploring mental health, interpersonal relationships, and agency. A personal reflection: i don’t want you anywhere near all that is precious to me/ you have taken enough from me/ and i am reserving and cultivating the loveliest parts of myself for me/ This week I have been reading Vanessa Valdes' "Oshun's Daughters" as well as dancing and praying. I also came across Mariam Chancy's "From Sugar to Revolution". Chancy acknowledges the ways in which art has functioned in colonized societies to chart memory and move toward new visions informed by explorations of the "dead past". Activating memory in art gives voice to collective knowledges and allows for cultural transmissions and a re-narrativizing of history. Chancy's insight is useful to my considerations of spirituality as a gesture of remembrance and a function of cultural transmission. How does Afro-Spirituality open up new possibilities for charting history?
  2. Amanda
    Nadia, thank you for such an insightful post. Your mention of agency, and Melissa's mention of interpersonal relationships were salient for me while reading your post because the "thing/person/institution/system" running away with the Lady in Green's stuff had access. The "thing/person/institution/system" having the ability to almost get away with stuff made me think about the ways one comes to understand "community." Often, I think of community as a group of folks that are dedicated to growth that transcends the individual; community as a group of people that share similar values, interests, practices, etc. The Lady in Green's account presents an alternative understanding of community. What is to be said about community as solely markers of proximity and shared space? How do you feel the absence of a nurturing community--take the parasitic quality of the "thing/person/institution/system" that produced her 'leg with the flee bite'--may complicate your conversation on the ways Black female artists contextualize mental wellness? Weekly update: I've been spending time looking at some photo series by Carrie Mae Weems. I'm particularly interested in her "Kitchen Table" series and focus on the role of tradition, the nature of family, the relationships between women and children, and women and women. After a conversation I had with a friend this past weekend, I've also been thinking a lot about queer theory and childhood. Before the small group meeting with Prof. Hall and Tiana, I hope to revisit my proposal and really flesh out the new direction (art production based on thematic archival materials) I would like my project to follow.
    • Kim Hall
      That's such a great question Tiana! I actually found the tweet in my routine searching of Twitter for references to Zake. Then emailed it to Nafia. Twitter seems like it could be a really useful primary source for how BW practice - and share- self care.
  3. Michelle
    Weekly update: I have booked my bus tickets to visit the Sophia Smith Archives at Smith College for this Friday to Saturday! I have already contacted the archivists and they said the collection is ready for a look through. The majority of the Third World Women's Alliance archives are held at Smith College so I hope to go through their collection and track the history of the collection - how did it get to Smith College / who collected and organized their collection / etc. By going through their collection, I hope to get a sense of the things they talked about and the things they did. I will be sure to ask about copyright information while I am there because I plan on using these materials for the second part of my project, collaborative collaging.
  4. Tiana Reid
    Nadia, I'm thinking about the form of your "living guidebook" alongside the form of a tweet. The "living" in "living guidebook" has a resonance with chance, social life, encounter. How did you encounter the tweet? What were you doing? Looking for? Did the content change for you because you read it on Twitter? (In other words, but perhaps elliptically, what's the "social" in social media?)
  5. Sophia
    This week: I went through the black feminist publications I scheduled in my work plan, and have taken note of a few others that I'm trying to go through tonight and tomorrow. I didn't end up going to the Schomburg but I have a good start and will hopefully make the trip in the next week or so.
    • Kim Hall
      Sophia, I was looking at the Finder's aid for Alice Walker's papers and noticed that she had a copy of an excerpt of Sassafras, Cypress and Indigo published in Ms, 1982. I can't remember if that's in your timeframe, but thought you should know. You might be able to see other black feminist writings in Ms. here: http://findingaids.library.emory.edu/documents/walker1061/items/?keywords=Ms.+Magazine
  6. Danielle
    This week: I read Gilbert Anthony Williams's book of interviews with famous black personality disc jockeys: "Legendary Pioneers of Black Radio." I'm very intrigued by how the Payola scandals totally (no pun intended) reformated radio in the late '50s. I've learned about Payola a few times before in Intro to Media classes, but I realize now I never got the full story. Payola was when DJs received bribes from record companies to play certain records, drop some names on air, etc. Black DJs didn't receive anywhere close to the amount of money white DJs were raking in. That being said, white radio managers were intimidated by the power of black disc jockey personalities and their hold on their communities. These managers were looking for a way to restructure radio in a way that would consolidate their power. In large part, Payola was their answer. It triggered the beginning of the end of personality disc jockeys and started the format revolution.
    • Kim Hall
      Danielle, I hadn't realized Payola was part of a larger power grab. The historical context you are digging up is fascinating!
  7. Nicole
    This week I went back and reviewed the works of Shange that inspired me to focus my project on dance. I would like to support the writing on my web page with quotes from Shange that talk about the importance of dance. I reread parts of Lost in Language & Sound and Sassafrass, Cypress and Indigo and wrote down quotes and thoughts that I think will support my writing. I plan on making a trip to the Schomburg this coming week.
    • Kim Hall
      Don't forget to talk Professor Scolieri! He mentioned a dissertation on McIntyre that might be useful to you.
  8. Kiani
    This week: I have pared down my bibliography and decided to focus on finding links between the works of Black Arts Movement writers and Shange in the form, function, and method of the writing. I have begun to draft a schedule for visits to the archive, personal reading days, and writing days.
    • Kim Hall
      Hi Kiani, is this as major a change as I think? Eager to hear more in the small group meeting.
  9. Clarke
    This week, I reflected on some of the feedback I've received on the project and decided to look more into the signs of black bohemian feminism in the archives, the contemporary resonance of these signs, and visual possibilities for presenting "then and now" digitally. When I visit the archive this week, I also plan to look more into black bohemian feminist networks in the past, and the products of these spaces today. In addition, I have collected more sources specifically exploring bohemianism and created a basic work plan for the remainder of the semester.
  10. Yemi
    This past week went by in a huff & puff until there was nothing left in the air expect a wide expanse of blue sky. So what did I do for this project? I revisited my proposal and read it again whilst considering the comments from students during last week's class. My aim was to sort through the range of ideas I had and separate them into categories that were about what undertakings, physical creations, and research would go well together, instead of the lump sum of how many different cool things I could do for the project. I narrowed down the lists of texts from my bibliography to 6 works I believe would be crucial to my project. For fun, I went to the Schomburg to listen to the Kamionge discussion about Timeless, the group's collection of photographs.
  11. Dania
    Nadia, thank you for choosing this quote. There are moments on my journey to mental wellness when I feel exhausted by myself and it feels discouraging and heartbreaking and sometimes in these moments, I think about this Shange quote. I think about how it feels to have someone whether it may be my parents, my friends, my lover(s), a random person walking on the street who tries to take away something that I have worked really hard at, whether it is say "no" or "yes" or taking time for myself or even being kind to myself in ways I have not before and had to work really hard at. As you mentioned, there are so many ways to unpack what "stuff" means. Sometimes its the space I try to occupy and reclaim, my physical stuff, my time, my love, my kindness, my patience, my vulnerability etc And it is always a struggle to prevent myself from taking my own stuff because that happens more than I would like to admit. And this passage speaks to that as well. As far as this week was, I was able to read two texts that are relevant to my project and interact critically with them. I am now thinking about the role of artistic disappearance in the work that I am doing and want to do.

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