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dream fragments/ darling-honey-child/ dearest daddy [Archive Find]

 

before starting her blood, she tends to break glass. she is washing dishes. there is a crisp sound of shattering glass. a shard will have found itself lodged in the flesh of her palm. crimson will trickle into the sink.

that night she dreams of water roaring evenly from glistening faucets of silver on every wall. fragments of bright light float across her body. brilliant flashes that spread across her flesh. crystallized patterns etch themselves on her skin. she holds a brown baby to her breast as she lays in a tub filled with clear, sweet smelling water. “darling, honey child”. in whispered incantations, she conjures protective shields. the child that feeds from her body, peers at her with soft, brown eyes. wet with love. there is warmth all over. as they are lulled in this gently moving water.

this is the spirit of Yemayá come to visit.

Dreams. We must tune in closely to the bits of news they bring us. They carry messages from the spirit realm. Grandmother has sent news. That her darling-honey-child must survive. Shange, a witch who, in her flesh, carries the spirits of mothers from centuries past, knows this. It must be the reason she noted  her dreams. Black women divine destinies and access the memories of our past selves through dreams. We know sleep isn’t only for resting. Our work begins with the darkness that descends upon our consciousness. We fashion our vulnerable bodies into altars. Sacred sites of divination. In our most humble state of peace, the spirits come. They bring us news. This darling-honey-child must survive.

Red-Gold Journal copy

i once asked my father/ in a childishly flippant manner/ about his mother/ where she was and/ why she’d never been to visit/ he looked at me/ with a great well of/ sorrow in his eyes/ and told me/ he was an orphan/ since then/ the helpless gesture he made/ has come to encompass the meaning of orphan/ palms facing upward/ in supplication/ or desperation/ or accusation/ gesturing to the gods/ as if to say/ they are the architects of this sorrow/ and they are the source of my solace/ and they hold all clarity/ and carry all understanding in/ the matter of pain/ in that moment/ i knew what god was/ and what loss was/ my father/ in his lumbering frame/ crisscrossing lines around his eyes/ evidence/ of an untethered inclination/ towards joy/ his booming joviality/ eclipsed/ i feared that i had killed my father/ with this utterance/ that i had caused him to drown/ in this sorrow/ that i had no name for/ and i wanted to know the woman who/ had been responsible for raising a boy/ who would carry authority/ in the aristocratic flare of his nostrils/ and i wanted to know how/ she had nurtured him to such a state of tenderness/ and i saw her pass/ underneath the warmth of his brown eyes/

In a series of intimate and heartfelt letters to her father, some in the postpartum tense, Shange expresses and explores conflicting sentiments of guilt, shame, loss, and deep sorrow. In these stream of consciousness addresses, I likened Shange’s voice with that of her deeply troubled and talented Liliane, whose traumatic encounters with the pain inflicted by sexist, racist, and patriarchal forces are explored through a psychodynamic lens. We see Liliane as a proud Black girl, and as we join her in the vast and lonely landscape of her youth, we too become the wounded Black girl who must contend with the raw and grotesque humanity of imperfect fathers, broken mothers, dead sisters, and the lovers who took their lives.

 

Reading Zake: “A Scarlet Woman”

For the past few months, I have been going through the works of Third World Women and Peoples collectives from the 70s and this journey began with learning that Ntozake Shange contributed to the first anthology by Third World Women. Titled “Third World Women,” it was published by the collective, Third World Communications in 1972. The editors preface, “We recognize the necessity for Third World people to have accessible to them material written by and for them – we must be able to see, hear, feel, smell, taste portraits of ourselves”. With this mission in mind, Shange submits this poem, “A Scarlet Woman” to the anthology, and at first read, I loved it in the same ways that I loved her poem “We Need a God Who Bleeds Now” (A Daughter’s Geography).

Quiet As It’s Kept: Google/Wiki// Find Articles

by Amanda 1 Comment

When taking on academic research, I usually start with a quick Google search that often leads me to Wikipedia. Google and Wikipedia serve as great points of departure because they help clarify how I might move about refining a given project’s aim.  Although many of us scholars are conditioned to be skeptical about the reliability, and validity of the information found on sites like Wiki, we use them anyway. Why? Because it’s a starting point? Because it’s free? Because it’s simple.? Because it’s ~usually~ right? If all of this is true, why then are many of our instructors so hell bent on ridding our academic research process of Wikipedia?

For one: anyone can post material on wiki–making it an extremely unreliable source. The uncertain level of expertise used for any given data entry makes the use of wiki inappropriate for academic work. Its for this reason that students/scholars have learned to avoid wiki.

Despite this, their have been those instructors who show indifference to the use of wiki and this indifference seems to be based an understanding of Wiki’s value. Wiki proves most valuable in cases where hyper-specific research (research that is in little-to-no way related to mainstream research/popular culture) needs to be done. In example, I would be more inclined to believe in the validity of a wiki entry on Quantum Turbulence because of the specific nature of the subject matter. The instructors that have encouraged or at least allowed limited use of wiki all recognize that it can be a great starting point for research.

I use wiki all the time as a starting point. Once I’ve gotten a general sense of the subject matter, I move past Google/wiki searches and forward with more refined research. One online tool that I always use at this refined stage of my research process is: Find Articles/Summons–a service that Columbia and other academic institutions subscribe to so that researchers can access newspaper articles, e-books, journal collections, etc. from a plethora of databases (including JSTOR, ProQuest, etc.) on one site.

entitlement: moving beyond the bounds

In the past few days I have been reading Sassafrass, Cypress & Indigo along side Aimee Cox’ Shapeshifters: Blacks Girls and the Choreography of Citizenship and  Jamaica Kincaid’s The Autobiography of My Mother, and Cox’ highlighted the role of entitlement in solidifying and validating the black girl’s citizenship. Alongside alluding to the importance of entitlement, I have been able to complicate and  rethink the narrative of black girlhood I have been working with. Firstly, Chapter 4, “Mammies, Matriarchs and Other Controlling Images” of Patricia Hill Collins Black Feminist Thought and Hortense Spillers’ “Mama’s baby, Papa’s Maybe: An American Grammar Book” have allowed me to think about ways that the black girl body has been gendered and ungendered, which leaves room for rethink the limitations that are presented in my original thesis. Thus encouraging me to expand the boundaries and furthering my analysis by thinking about the ways in which black trans girls narratives are black girls  narratives, which means  reimagining and rethinking  our existences within our specific contexts which Xuela, the protagonist of Kincaid’s, The Autobiography of My Mother allowed us to do via dreaming and time traveling.

 

Cox’s radical and complex application of entitlement is fundamental to the self-determination and self-definition Shange discusses in Sassafrass, Cypress & Indigo, except it goes into the legalities, what I would like to think of as the externalized factors which causes the internalized impacts that Shange tries combat by providing modes and methods to heal. As stated in Shapeshifters:

 

“Entitlement typically connotes greed and undeserved  favor when used in conversations that mention Black or poor members of society. This is especially true when talking about low-income young Black women. We need only to refer to the Reagan-era discourse that continues to unjustly haunt welfare recipients who happen  to be young, female, and Black. Entitlement as theorized by Janice-the central figure in this ethnography-and the other young Black women in this book, however, is an empowered statement that disputes the idea that only certain people are worthy of the rights of citizenship and the ability to direct the course of their lives.” (viii)

 

Kincaid:

 

“I believe I heard small rumblings coming from deep within Morne Trois Pitons, I believe I smelled sulfur fumes rising up from the Boiling Lake. And that is how I claimed my birthright, East and West, Above and Below, Water and Land: In a dream. I walked through my inheritance, an island of villages and rivers  and mountains and people who began and ended with murder and theft and not very much love. I claimed it in a dream. Exhausted from the agony of expelling from my body a child I could not love and so did not want, I dreamed of all the things that were mine.” (89)

 

Shange:

 

“Makin cloth, bein a woman & longin

to be of the earth

A rooted blues

some ripe berries

happenin inside

spirits

walkin in a dirt road

toes dusted & free

faces  movin windy

brisk like

dawn round

gingham windows &

opened eyes

reelin to days

ready-made

nature’s image

i’m rejoicin

with a throat deep

shout & slow

like a river

gatherin

Space” (80)

 

“i am  sassafrass/ a weaver’s daughter/from charleston/i’m a woman makin cloth like all good women do/the moon’s daughter made cloth/ the gold array of sun/ the moon’s daughter sat all night/ spinnin/i have inherited fingers that change fleece to tender garments/ i am the maker of warmth & emblems of good spirit/mama didnt ya show me how” (80)

 

The selected speaks to  the right, the entitlement, the various  forms of citizenship the black girls should have access to, the re-magination and the imagination of black girlhood. Entitlement through legalities and through dreams and through being. The bounds of entitlement is mobile as well historical and contemporary.

 

1000 hours of jazz & blues record I discovered thanks to a friend who shared it facebook

Visiting the Archives at Spelman

During Spring Break, I went to the visit the archives to see the Audre Lorde papers at Spelman College. In Box 1.1.002, I found a card Lorde received from her daughter Beth for Mother’s Day. This object interested me because I am interested in mother-daughter relationships and I had already seen some of the cards and correspondences between Shange and her daughter Savannah in the Shange papers in the archive at Barnard.

If I had to write a caption for this object it would read:

The Well Told Story – SNOW FALL

For this assignment I found a website sponsored by the New York Times to be quite fascinating: Snow Fall The Avalanche at Tunnel Creek by John Branch.

When you first hit enter on the web link you are taken to a landing page that shows the title of the work over-layed on a looping video of snow. The effect is immediate and brings excitement for what’s to come next.

Landing Page of Snowfall

Landing Page of Snowfall

The Well Told Story: Carrie Mae Weems

by Dania 0 Comments

Carrie Mae Weems’ website is a combination of her artistic mediums-photography and the digital representations of each is also represented difficulty. The website started with an interactive timeline that showcase her personal and professional life-her introduction of photography, her exhibitions, her major life events.